The Sort of Woman a Man Likes.

The ideal woman? A blend of Angelina Jolie, Charlieze Theron and Carmen Electra!

As an author of historical romance, there’s no escaping the different role women had in the past. In the 18^th and 19^th century, for a woman to amount to anything she had to marry…and to increase the chances of marrying it helped not only to be wealthy…but appealing to men.

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The sort of woman a man considered an ideal mate, was openly discussed…and enough to make modern toes curl. In 1913, (note: less than a 100 years ago!) The Strand  magazine asked some noteable men of the day their views on ‘The Sort of Woman a Man Likes.’

The perfect Edwardian wife - interested in what interests her husband.

F. Frankfort Moore wrote:

“She should confine herself to the language of angels if she wishes to be liked by men…Men do not want a polyglot; they want one who will put the kettle on.”

(NB. Is your blood boiling yet?)

E Temple Thurston added:

“…a woman who can minister to his selfishness, without obliterating herself, who can listen to his egotism without making him feel he is monopolizing the conversation.”

The novelist Joseph Hocking stated:

“He doesn’t like a political woman [ie someone with opinions!] …Man’s ideal…is a sympathetic companion, who desires to share the joys and sorrows of her husband…a  lover of home and children, and finds her greatest joys by the fireside.”

A Victorian couple - wife looking adoringly at her husband.

However, not all men were convinced marriage was a good thing. In 1838, the 29 year old Charles Darwin, was torn between his calling as a scientist and the distraction of taking a wife. In a truly ordered manner, he drew up a list.

Emma Darwin - the wife, Charles, came to adore.

He listed under “To Marry”:

-          Constant companion who will feel interested in one – better than a dog anyhow.

-          Someone to take care of the house.

-          Charms of music and chit-chat – but a terrible loss of time

And under “Not to Marry:”

-          Freedom to go where I liked – not forced to visit relatives.

-          Conversation and clever men at clubs

-          Responsibility and anxiety over children – and less money for books et.c

-          Perhaps quarrelling – cannot read in the evenings – loss of time – fatness and idleness.

So did Darwin marry?

Yes, he did…and happily. And at the end of his life he wrote:

“I marvel at my good fortune, that she [Emma, his wife], so ultimately my superior in every single moral quality, consented to be my wife. She has been my adviser and cheerful comforter through life.”

FOR MORE MUSINGS ON THE ATTRACTIONS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX:

My weekend blog post considers “The Sort of Man a Woman Likes.”

The Sort of Man a Woman Likes..?

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